15.1 Immortality [不朽，Milan Kundera]

我们身上有一部分东西始终生活在时间之外；也许我们只有在某些特定时刻——大部分是没有年龄的时刻——才会意识到自己的年龄。

编制电子计算机的程序并不意味着未来的细节都得详细规划，也并不意味着一切都被写进“上天”这个程序里。譬如说，程序并未规定1815年要发生滑铁卢战役，也没有注定法国人要遭败绩，只是规定了人类的进攻本性。有人就有战争，技术进步将使战争日益残酷。从造物主的观点看，所有其他一切都是无足轻重的，只不过规定了可能性的范围。在这些范围内，它完全然偶然性来七作用。 > Hui: Kundera would be a good statistician……

这些谈话现在只记得一些零星的片段了，就像一些摔碎的盘子的碎片。在他成年以后，她想把这些碎片粘补起来。

她的裸露着的白色腿肚，就像一只农村里用的瓦罐，上面装饰着一些凸出的、淡紫色的、像纠缠在一起的小蛇。……这些人不想在人群中显得美丽也就罢了，他们甚至不像掩盖自己的丑态！她心里想：当她有一天丑得使人不能忍受时，她要到花店里去买一株勿忘我。只要一株，细细的茎上一朵小花。她要把这株草举在前面走到街上去，眼睛紧盯着它，除了这点美丽得蓝色以外什么也看不到。

仇恨得圈套，就在于它把我们和我们得敌手拴得太紧了，这就是战争得下流之处。…她突然想，我不能恨他们，因为没有任何东西把我和他们连在一起，我们毫无共同之处。

自有地生活，愿意怎样就怎样生活，愿意到哪儿去就到哪儿去。而他，他却从来也未曾有过这样得胆量，所以他把所有得资财都给了他的女儿，让她，让她敢于去做她想做得事情。

清静就是不被人注视得那种温馨感觉。

最近以来，她总是被一个念头纠缠着，她对保罗得爱情仅仅是建立在一种意愿之上，一种爱他的意愿之上，一种需要有一个幸福的家庭的意愿之上。如果这种意愿稍许有所松懈，她这种爱情就会像看到笼子打开了的小鸟一样飞走。

人们指望不朽，可是忽视了不朽只有与死亡在一起才有意义。

人在做了什么蠢事或者在失意的时候，风度会大受损害。

他在20岁时曾庄严地向他的姓名许诺要终生为善而奋斗；可是他很快便认识到要区别善恶是很困难的。

21.2 Slowness [慢，Milan Kundera]

The source of fear is in the future, and a person freed of the future has nothing to fear. A person with nothing to do is frustrated, bored, is constantly searching for the activity he lacks. In such a world, where everything gets told, the weapon that is both most readily available and most deadly is disclosure. Nothing in this novel stays a secret exclusive to two persons; everyone seems to live inside an enormous resonating seashell where every whispered word reverberates, swells, into multiple and unending echoes. When I was small, people would tell me that if I set a shell against my ear I would hear the immemorial murmur of the sea. Has mankind always lived inside such a resonating shell, without realizing it? As is often the case with glory, his was instigated by a defeat. And indeed, I wondered, what did become of the kiss that Sublime Planetary Historic News Event had planted on his brow? This is where the courtiers of the News Event make their mistake. They don’t know that the situations history stages are floodlit only for the first first few minutes. No event remains news over its whole duration, merely for a quite brief span of time, at the very beginning, The dying children of Somalia whom millions of spectators used to watch avidly, aren’t they dying anymore? What has become of them? Does Somalia still exist? And in fact did it ever exist? Could it be only the name of a mirage? The way contemporary history is told is like a huge concert where they present all of Beethoven’s one hundred thirty-eight opuses one after the other, but actually play just the first note of each piece would be played, thus one hundred third-eight notes for the whole concert, presented as one continuous melody. And in twenty years, the whole of Beethoven’s music would be summed up in a single very long buzzing tone, like the endless sound he heard the first of his deafness. 21.3 生命不能承受之轻

我们日复一日的生活都在与机缘的碰撞中度过，更准确的说，是在与人和事的偶然相遇中度过，我们称之为巧合。 表面的东西事明白无误的谎言，下面却是神秘莫测的真理。 凭借内心的闪光，弗兰茨看到了他们都是如此可笑，但是他不想离开他们，也无嘲讽的兴致，内心中升起一种感情，像我们对被判罪者的无限怜爱。 如果遭受遗弃与享有特权是一回事，毫无二致，如果崇高与低贱之间没有区别，如果上帝的二字能忍受事关大便的评判，那么人类存在便失去了其空间度向，成为了不可承受的轻。 惩罚自己不知道做了些什么的人是残暴的。 我们在没有被忘却之前就会变成一种媚俗，媚俗是存在与忘却之间的中途停歇站。 灵魂在看着背叛灵魂的肉体。 如果卡列宁是一个人而不是一条狗，肯定早就对特丽莎说了：“看，我病了，天天往嘴里面送面包圈也厌烦了，你能带点什么别的东西来么？”就在这里，整个人类的困境得到了展现。人类的时间不是一种圆形的循环，是飞速向前的一条直线。所以人不幸福；幸福是对重复的渴求。 Hui: 幸福是对重复的渴求。……再准确不过了。

花园已沉入了黄昏，正处在白昼与黑夜之间。一轮皎洁的月亮悬在清空，一盏灵堂里忘记关掉的灯。 我们所有的人总是倾向于认为，强力是罪犯，而软弱是纯真的受害者。但现在特丽莎意识到，在她这里真理恰恰相反。即使是她那些梦，在一个男人的感觉中仅仅是软弱而非坚强的梦，也展示了她对托马斯的伤害，迫使他退却，他的软弱是侵略性的，一直使他投降，直到最后完全丧失强力。 21.4 Laughable loves [好笑的爱，Milan Kundera]

She was lounging almost naked on my couch occupying herself with an examination of the ceiling. An ugly woman hopes to gain something from the luster of her pretty friend; a pretty woman for her part, hopes that she will stand out more lustrously against the background of the ugly woman. [丑女人往往希望借助她漂亮女友的光彩，而那个漂亮的朋友则希望在丑陋的对照下放射出更艳丽的光彩。] Hui: 想起《清醒思考的艺术》中说的对比效应，这样看来，丑女人的策略不对啊……和漂亮朋友在一起只会显得更丑不是么……

At birth every human being received one out of the millions of available bodies, as one would receive an allotted room out of the millions of rooms in an enormous hotel; that consequently, the body was fortuitous and impersonal, only a ready-made, borrowed thing. [任何一个人在生下来时，都在几百万可供使用的肉体中获得了一个肉体，就仿佛人们分配给了她一套住所，它就像一座巨大的大厦中其他几百万套住所一样；她对自己说，肉体是一种纯属偶然的非个体的东西；只不过是一件借用的和现成的物品。] Of course it was a quite naive desire, but there it was childish desires withstand all the snares of the adult mind and often survive into ripe old age. And this childish desire quickly took advantage of the opportunity to embody itself in the proffered role. [这无疑是一个相当幼稚的愿望，但这有什么办法：童稚的渴望摆脱了成人精神的一切樊笼，继续存在下去，有时候甚至在遥远的老年期依然还要冒出来。] The more the girl withdrew from him psychically, the more he longed for her physically; the alienation of her soul drew attention to her body. [她在道德上越是于他陌生，他就越是在肉体上渴望她；灵魂的陌生使她作为女人的肉体更为奇特。] Hui:如何概括这种心理？贱！

The alien life in which she had become involved was a life without shame, without biographical specifications, without past or future, without obligations; it was a life that was extraordinary free. The girl, as a hitchhiker, could do anything: everything was permitted to her; she could say, do, and feel whatever she liked. It had always seemed to him that her inward nature was real only within the bounds of fidelity and purity, and that beyond these bounds it simply didn’t exist. And it was futile to evoke good sense and warn her dazed soul that she must keep her distance from the game and not take it seriously. Just because it was only a game her soul was not afraid, didn’t oppose the game, and narcotically sank deeper into it. These two images showing through each other were telling him that everything was in the girl, that her soul was terrifyingly amorphous, that it held faithfulness and unfaithfulness, treachery and innocence, flirtatiousness and chastity. This disorderly jumble seemed disgusting to him, like the variety to be found in a pile of garbage. Perhaps I want to resist necessity. To trip up causality. To throw off the predictability of the world’s course through the whimsicality of caprice. How can you be a conqueror in a domain where no one refused you, where everything is possible and everything is permitted? In them he saw the callousness of aging men and women, the cruelty of their mature years, which rose before his youth like a hostile barrier. It was not a question of suicide but of a demonstration of suicide set up in such a way that a disaster would not occur. She saw herself without her own head. So to herself she was completely beautiful. He was seeking a comforting embrace, never-ending and vast, which would redeem him from the infernal relativity of the freshly discovered world. Only at the last moment, when they had almost passed each other, that smile rang a bell in his memory and snapped him out of his drowsy state. Women became for him the one legitimate criterion of life’s density. He said to himself that there was a curious malice in the fact that he had met this woman, with whom he’d been head over heels in love and whom in those days he’d let escape, precisely when he found himself in this state of mind and at a time when it was no longer possible to rectify anything Havel, beneath the many glances, felt how once more he was regaining his lost visibility. The interlocking conjunction of all these forces eventually dumped him (as a crane drops a sack onto a truck) from secondary school into teacher’s college…… He understood, however, that his occupation would be among the fortuitous aspects of his life. But this is the way life goes: a man imagines that he is playing his role in a particular play, and does not suspect that in the meantime they have changed the scenery without his noticing and he unknowingly finds himself in the middle of a rather different performance. Now, however, the unpremeditated snare of false news caused a split in the coherence of her being and it seemed to Edward that her convictions were in fact only something extraneous to her fate, in fact only something extraneous to her body; he saw her as an accidental conjunction of a body, thoughts, and a life’s course, an inorganic conjunction, arbitrary and unstable. He visualized Alice and he saw her body separately from her thoughts; he liked this body but the thoughts struck him as ridiculous, and together they did not form a whole being; he saw her as an ink line spreading on blotting paper, without contours without shape. If you told him the whole truth and nothing but the truth, only what you really thought, you would enter into a serious conversation with a madman and you yourself would become mad. And it is the same way with the world that surrounds us. If I obstinately told the truth to its face, it would mean that I was taking it seriously. And to take seriously something so unserious means to lose all one’s own seriousness. It occurred to him that these were signs devoid of meaning, currency without funds, weights made of paper. And that is why Edward longed for God, for God alone is relieved of the distracting obligation of (he himself, unique and nonexistent) the essential opposite of this unessential (but so much more existent) world. 21.5 The Lover [情人, Marguerite Duras]

Hui: Finished this book in 2010.6. Marguerite Duras is a controversial writer: cold, cranky and so egocentric. You may not like Marguerite Duras herself, but you can’t reject her words: sharp and bold. She dares to say anything. You can let her die but can’t make her shut up. She persist in writing all her life. If she wants to do something, she will do it and that’s the woman. She said: “If I were not a writer, I would be a hooker.” But I think if she hadn’t been a writer, she would suicide. When reading her words, your heart may skip a beat from time to time. As I said before. “being happy” is like “playing piano”, it’s a skill rather than human nature. You need to learn and practice. However, she doesn’t own the skill. She lost in her world and her desperation. She was brave and honest. She talked about naked sex, desperation, fornication without disguise. She is not my favorite. BTW, I am so sorry about her Chinese lover. And I have to state that not every Chinese is like him.

Dreamer She is such a dreamer that there is noway to wake her up. See the beginning and ending of the novel:

Beginning: One day, I was already old, in the entrance of a public place a man came up to me, He introduced himself and said, “I’ve known you for years. Everyone says you were beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you I think you’re more beautiful now than then. Rather than your face as a young woman, I prefer your face as it is now. Ravaged.

Ending: And then he told her. Told her that it was as before, that he still loved her, he could never stop loving her, that he’d love her until death.

The paradox lies between her belief in love and her fear to break it. Duras was highly influenced by the difficult life that her family experienced during the period in Indochina. There was no love in the family and she said:

It’s a family of stone, petrified so deeply it’s impenetrable. Every day we try to kill one another, to kill…… the face that all three of us are our mother’s children of a candid creature murdered by society. We’re on the side of the society which has reduced her to despair. Because of what’s been done to our mother, so amiable, so trusting, we hate life, we hate ourselves.

That’s why she was eager for love . She kept the love with her Chinese lover by ending it. So she could tell herself: “he loves me forever”. It was over because she had to leave but not the problem of the love itself. However, if she hadn’t left, their love might still be over one day but because he wouldn’t love her anymore which was unacceptable. I think she knew it. That’s a very good trick. She left when they still loved each other so their love was not destroyed and couldn’t be. Moreover, for her Chinese lover and his new wife, she assured:

It must have been a long time before he was able to be with her, to give her the hair to their fortunes. The memory of the little white girl must have been there, lying there, the body, across the bed. For a long time she must have remained the queen of his desire, his personal link with emotion, with the immensity of tenderness, the dark and terrible depths of the flesh.

Such a dreamer! He might forget her not long after her leave and started a new life. Who knows? Similarly, she also considered that her little brother’s death made him immortality.

Distance She kept a distance to world around. There were two things kept the distance not too big so that make her alive: writing and drinking. She said: “I drink because I know God does not exist”. I like her courage to face her life and say the truth in humanity out.

More quotations Departures. They are always the same.

The thing that’s between us is fascination, and the fascination resides in our being alike. Whether you’re a man or a woman, the fascination resides in finding out that we’re alike.

21.6 Plays of Marguerite Duras

Hui:Here are some quotations of her plays. I won’t read anymore works of this writer.

It’s agony. Being so near to you and yet so far. It’s a gram-phone. I’m like that. I keep my word. I hope you’ll get to know me. I mean nothing to you, less than nothing. Another time, I took Mr. Jo’s presents, the blue dress, the compact, the nail polish, and threw them in the river. That meant there was nothing left to sell. Cleaving the sea with her body. Disappearing in an eddy. The water closed up over her. Cries out that her skin is burning, scorching against his. A love…A love belonging to every moment without a past, without a future. Changeless. A crime. Because…I forgot what I’m weeping for. She belongs to whoever wants her. Gives her to whoever will have her. 21.7 L’Assommoir [小酒店，Émile Zola]

她头越来越低，双手捂住了双眼，仿佛要让自己消失在遗忘的黑暗之中。 那些留下来的则伸长脖子，眼神中露出残忍的凶光。 酒足饭饱，张开双手拍着大腿，安详缓步地走进嘈杂拥挤的人流中去了。 热尔维斯渐渐感到累了，头伏在枕头上，微笑着发呆；她看得见，听得见，但却无力做动作或开口：她觉得似乎自己已经死去，十分适意的死去，看到别人活着，她感到欣慰。 当她梦想到她的店子时，常常面对时钟发呆，眼睛死盯着时针转动，恍若在等待着某一个特殊隆重的时刻来临，以便最后下决心。 她只好躲躲闪闪，仿佛一个大人做了孩子气的事而见不得人。 她流落到街头时的理想：工作，有面包吃，有一个自己的小窝，抚养孩子们，不挨男人打，能死在自己的床上。 她眼前始终浮现着那个四岁女孩的目光，那么庄重，那样勇敢，只有一个成年女人才会有的目光。 男人们很喜欢捏她，因为他们可以捏遍她的全身而不碰到骨头。 他们走了进去，要喝一杯李子酒，惟一目的是在一起饮酒，庆贺一下改邪归正的决心。 她的神情十分专注，那双邪气十足的孩子的大眼睛，因被淫荡的好奇心驱使而闪闪发光。 他们把她当作蜡烛，从两头点燃……他所受的教育像不爱干净的人们穿着一件下面带有污垢的白衬衫。 起初他们转来转去，找不到东西，犹如玩乐过度的第二天疲惫不堪。 当一个人不再哭泣时，悲伤即转化为厌烦。 库波躺下了，他说不是为了睡觉，而是为了思考。 Hui: 哈哈，这个经典！

拉丽仅仅保持着沉默的目光，一双黑色顺从的大眼睛，让人感到眼底深处蕴含无穷无尽的悲哀和痛苦。她始终默默无语，只有一双黑色的大眼睛睁得很大。 习惯如同别的东西一样可以消磨正直感。 当他站在窗前时，人们可以透过他得身子骨见到阳光，他实在是太瘦了。 她的死正是因为她小小年纪便有了一个真正的母亲的理智，她的心胸还太嫩，太狭小，容不下这么宽厚的母爱。 当然，这是不干净的，但是这时干净与不干净在她的脑子里混淆了，人在饿得要死得时候不会谈这么多得哲理，只会吃能到手的面包。 她看着他，仿佛要寻找那条她抛弃过尊严的沟渠。 这是一场真正的风雪，在广阔无垠的天空中，细雪飞旋着，仿佛从天空的四个角同时吹来。 她停下来，踌躇不定，转回头，猜想着在这雪帘子后有开阔的大街，有一排排望不到头的煤气路灯。还有沉睡的巴黎无限的黑暗与荒凉。 21.8 Arch of Triumph [凯旋门，Erich Maria Remarque]

他从口袋里掏出那张写着那个女人名字的纸，把它撕成碎片，扔掉了。忘记。这是一个什么样的字眼儿，他想。充满着恐惧、安慰和幽灵鬼怪！要是不能忘记，谁还生活得下去？然而，又有谁能够忘记得一干二净呢？记忆的灰烬，碾碎了一个人的心。人只有在再也没有什么可以留恋的时候，他才是自由的。 21.9 许三观卖血记

《许三观卖血记》讲到小人物，不能不推荐几本余华的书。这本小说正如它的名字，讲的是一个穷苦百姓卖血的故事。许三观靠着卖血渡过人生一个个难关。余华的书比陀思妥也夫斯基好看多了，我很喜欢书中对一些动作细节的描写，以及在到了需要卖血维持生活的人眼里，计较的东西总是那么实在：八角三分钱娶许玉兰，多久能卖一次血，可以买几碗血……最后卖血反倒成了许三观的美好回忆了。如他自己所说：“做人是个什么滋味，我也全知道了。”话说在看完本书之前，我一直觉得按情节许三观会在一次卖血中死去。个人觉得主角的悲剧是精神上的，他的生命由长度衡量而非质地，没有思考，没有困惑，只是为了一种单纯的延伸。我很喜欢作者在韩文版的序言里讲的：“有这样一个人，他不知道有个外国人叫亚里士多德，也不认识玫瑰，他知道的事情很少，认识的人也不多，他只有在自己生活的小城里行走天下才不会迷路。当然，和其他人一样，他也有一个家庭，有妻子和儿子；也和其他人一样，在别人面前显得有些自卑，而在妻儿面前则是信心十足，所以他也就经常在家里骂骂咧咧。这个人头脑简单，虽然他睡着的时候也会做梦，但是他没有梦想。” 这句话于是一直让我记在心里：虽然他睡着的时候也会做梦，但是他没有梦想。

21.10 活着

《活着》这是余华最出名的作品，但我觉得没有《许三观卖血记》好看。这部小说被张艺谋拍成了电影，因为故事的时代背景是内战、三反五反，大跃进，文化大革命等社会变革，我爸爸两年前看了之后一直给我推荐，那个时代能让父辈产生强烈的共鸣，对于我，虽然了解过一些历史，但却是没有那么强烈的情感共鸣。的人生和家庭不断经受着苦难，到了最后所有亲人都先后离他而去，仅剩下年老的他和一头老牛相依为命。 《活着》讲述主人公徐福贵一生的故事，他嗜赌成性的地主少爷，到终于赌光了家业一贫如洗。在穷困之中福贵在给母亲求医的路上被国民党部队抓了壮丁，后被解放军所俘虏，回到家乡母亲已经过世，妻子家珍含辛茹苦带大了一双儿女，但女儿凤霞不幸变成了哑巴。其中最戏剧性的一幕我觉得是在解放后村里搞土改，之前骗光徐福贵家产的龙二因为是恶霸地主被人民政府抓去最后枪毙了，死前喊了一句：“福贵，我是替你去死啊。”让我想起了鲁迅笔下的阿Q在最终临死之前之前的表现，想要喊出“二十年后又是一条好汉”。荒唐的年代总是造就很多荒唐的人事。 许福贵这一生貌似就走了这一次运，因祸得福捡一条命，然后由着这条命反复受折磨。家珍因患有软骨病而干不了重活；儿子因与县长夫人血型相同，为救县长夫人抽血过多而亡；女儿凤霞与队长介绍的城里的偏头二喜喜结良缘，产下一男婴后，因大出血死在手术台上；而凤霞死后三个月家珍也相继去世；二喜是搬运工，因吊车出了差错，被两排水泥板夹死；福贵心疼外孙苦根，给他煮豆吃，不料苦根却因吃豆子撑死……最后只有老了的福贵伴随着一头老牛在阳光下回忆。看完这篇小说，我脑子里只有一个问题：如果不为了活着而活着，那为什么？

21.11 女记

Hui:《女记》这是叫杨秋意的70后作家写的小说，我对这个作家一点也不熟悉，不太记得当时为什么买下这本书，很可能是因为北美的中文书城打折。这边买中文书打折都觉得贵，因为总是会折成人民币和国内价格比。但是有的书很长时间卖不出去也可能打折到1、2美金。这本相比就是，不然不会买。这本小说通过记者刘心香的种种人生遭际，刻画了一个单纯、执着的知识女性艰难的成长历程，反映了女性与命运抗争的执著韧性。我和教会里的一个80岁的老奶奶走的很近，她叫弗朗西斯，每次去她家我都会和她聊上1-2个小时，更多的时候是我听她说。我只要有时间很喜欢找老人说话，他们真诚可爱。弗朗西斯总是仿佛的给我说：“我不知道上帝为什么要这么造男人女人，给了男人更强壮的身体，却让女人承当更多的工作。女人身体不强壮，但是内心比男人坚韧。”弗朗西斯是个善良坚韧的女人，书里的刘心香也是。书中同时也揭示了人性的复杂，生活的纠葛和况味。有的时候，生活让你感觉就是这样，现实的毫无艺术可言。

女人永远都无力抗拒任何呼唤着她受惊灵魂的声音，而男人则无力阻挡任何灵魂正在相应呼唤的女人。 Hui:上半句和下半句结合起来不就是在说：只要男人呼唤，女人一定回应，男人一定无法阻挡。换句话说，我们都是毫无自制力的动物……

一个女人，而且是一个漂着的离婚女人，在这个陌生的城市里带着一个烧残的孩子，生存都是一个问题。 Hui: 这句话没有出彩的地方，摘抄下来只是因为它太没有艺术性，很多时候，生活让你感觉就是这样，现实的毫无艺术可言。

千家万户新桃换旧符时，刘心香和胡闹闹就这样在病房中度过。 发生的事情就发生了，不要想着任何事情都会有补偿，没有，损失的永远就是损失，伤害的永远就是伤害，你不可能修复，你不可能回到从前。只能是徒劳地浪费时间和精力。 她知道一旦一个女人没有秘密的站在一个男人面前时，女人就没有味了。 刘心香就感到自己似乎真的是那罂粟花正在风中疯长，让陈丽害怕，让陈丽不得不拔掉迎风而长的花儿，否则安达就没有命了。 人说女人出水如芙蓉，水使女人水灵，水使女人美丽漂亮，女人离不开水就如鱼儿离不开水。在水里女人才有了生命，同样，在水里，女人的优点和缺点都无可隐藏，美的更美，丑的更丑。 刘心香看着自己后面孤零零的脚印一个一个深陷在雪地里，有泪水咸咸地流进嘴里，她搞到后腰隐隐的疼，想想今天是24日，唉，那个老朋友又要来了。抬头看着满天的雪花，刘心香狠狠地擦了擦脸上的泪水，骂道：妈的，怎么这么多的贱泪！ 21.12 Selected Short Stories of Washington Irving

21.13 NovEU History:安格思首部曲:传奇初现

Hui: 不是太喜欢这本书，只记录了这两句。

那是一种奇妙的祥和，就像在风中飞翔，在海面上走路，在云端驰骋，在面对威胁毫不犹豫。 在风云变色的战场里要精心算计根本是不可能的事。战场上真正的计算就是求生存。 21.14 白痴［陀思妥耶夫斯基］

死刑可怕的痛苦就在于此，在于明白地知道没有得救的希望。世上没有 比这更难受的痛苦了。

他是一个高度持重而又定了型的人。他在社会上的地位早已固若金汤。他对本人，对自己的安宁和舒适爱得比世上的一切更甚，看得比世上的一切更重，这才符合十足正派人的身份。他倾注了毕生精力得到今天这般美妙的一切，绝不容许遭到丝毫的破坏，发生丝毫的动摇。…他现在的对手极不寻常，这正是那种不仅仅口头威胁、而且一定会付诸行动的主儿，最根本的一点是她不会再任何障碍面前却步，尤其因为世上一切在她心中都不值得珍爱，所以甚至无法引她上钩。…类似某种浪漫主义的愤恨，某种无法满足而又完全出格的鄙薄感。

此刻他脸上亲切的微笑与他不相配称，仿佛这笑容有什么地方破碎了，而巴尔菲昂无论怎样努力也没法把它拼凑拢来。

宗教感情的实质同任何错误或犯罪行为，同任何无神论都不相干；这里头不是那么个问题，永远不是那么个问题，这里头的问题各种各样的无神论永远只会擦着划过去而永远不能说道点子上。

列别杰夫差点儿没把一部分听众认真激怒，现在出人意料地提到小吃作为自己这篇宏论的结尾，一下子跟所有的对手达成了和解。

人生是一条漫长的路，还有我们看不见的分岔多得不计其数。最高明的棋手，其中洞察力最强的也只能料到以后的几步；而人生有多少步棋要走？我们无法预测的又有多少？当您撒下您的种子的时候，当您撒下您的“慈善”、做无论何种形式的好事的时候，您是在把您的个性的一部分给予别人，并把别人个性的一部分接纳到自己身上；你们互相交流，彼此沟通；只要稍加注意，您就会得到补偿，那就是知识，就是种种最意想不到的发现。…伊波利特写到“连苍蝇也知道自己有一席之气，是合唱的参加者”，而他“却被淘汰出局”。

最糟心的莫过于做一个例如这样的人：手里有钱，出身清白，相貌可以，受过相当教育，人也不蠢，甚至心地善良，在这里同时却没有任何才华，没有任何特点，甚至没有一点儿怪脾气，没有一个属于他自己的思想，无不“和大家一样”。

结果恰恰是叶罗佩果夫的存在遭到怀疑这样一滴苦酒，使杯内满极而溢。

“凭什么？难道凭您比我们受过更多的苦而且至今还在受苦吗？” “不，是因为我有愧于自己所受的苦。”

他在迷离恍惚的忧伤中陷的太深了，这对他比什么都痛苦。

为什么他老是觉得这个女人不早不晚一定会在最后一刹那出现，把他命运整个撕得粉碎，就像扯断一根烂掉的线似的？

这个人的设想好像总是灵机一动产生出来，然后不断加温之下变得过于复杂、节外生枝以致脱离原来的出发点朝四面八方远远地岔开去。

21.15 小人得志

在官场上，你一旦得势，你的权势周围很快就会形成一个生态圈，衍生各类的物种。趋炎附势就像初生的婴儿走出母体时的第一声啼哭一样，在许多人而言时与生具来的。当你走了霉运，不再拥有了权势时，衍生在你周围的那许多物种也就很快地变种甚至绝迹了。官场的丑恶是多种多样的，而趋炎附势，人走茶凉只是其中的一种，自古皆然，生生不息。 21.16 张爱玲小说

《金锁记》 - 三十年前的上海，一个有月亮的晚上……我们也许没赶上看见三十年前的月亮。年轻人想着三十年前的月亮该是铜钱大的一个红黄的湿晕，像朵云轩信笺(jian)上落了一滴泪珠，陈旧而迷糊。老年人回忆中的三十年前的月亮是欢愉的，比眼前的月亮大、圆、白；然而隔着三十年的辛苦路望回看，再好的月色也不免带点凄凉。 - 她再年轻些也不过是一棵较嫩的雪里蕻——盐腌过的。 - 门外日色昏黄，楼梯上铺着湖绿花格子漆布地衣，一级一级上去，通入没有光的所在。 - 她那平而尖利的喉咙四面割着人像剃刀片。 - 长安觉得她是隔了相当距离看这太阳里的庭院，从高楼望下来，明晰，亲切，然而没有能力干涉，天井，树，曳着萧条的影子的两个人，没有话——不多的一点回忆，将来是要装在水晶瓶子里双手捧着看的——她最初也是最后的爱。 - 郑先生是连演四十年的一出闹剧，他夫人则是一出冗长单调的悲剧。

《留情》 - 生在这世界上，没有一样感情不是千疮百孔的。

《红玫瑰与白玫瑰》 - 娶了红玫瑰，久而久之，红的变成了墙上的一抹蚊子血，白的还是“床前明月光”；娶了白玫瑰，白的便是衣服上沾的一粒饭粘子，红的却是心口上一颗朱砂痣。 - 普通人的一生，再好些也是“桃花扇”，撞破了头，血溅到扇子上，就这上面略加点染成为一枝桃花。振保的扇子却还是空白，而且笔酣墨饱，窗明几净，只等他落笔。 - 男子憧憬着一个女人身体的时候，就关心到她的灵魂，自己骗自己说是爱上了她的灵魂。唯有占领了她的身体后，他才能够忘记她的灵魂。也许这是唯一的解脱方法。

21.17 20世纪小说经典

《皇家贵族》

当人们处身于一个大城市的尘嚣里而试图想乡间生活时，他们往往会把它描绘成这样一种景象：一天天缓慢地过去，在一个老妇人的静寂房间里有一只不停地走着的老祖父的钟，一小时的每一分钟都是伴随着它那庄严而从容不迫的滴答声消逝的。实际上，正是由于单调，乡间的时间比在任何别的地方逗过得快，乡间的日子也显得比任何别的地方都短。一星期，一个月乃至一生就在我们还没觉察到的时候溜走了。 她想不出什么别的回答。她几乎不敢对自己承认心底里面的那些沉默的梦——也实在没有别的名字可以用来称呼这种男人所绝对不能理解的，过剩的感情，或者说是环绕一个不可知的，犯禁的对象的秘密，或者可以说是使女人的爱保持娇艳并增添其妩媚的一点凡心。 《红毛》

爱情的悲剧不是生离死别。你知道得过多久，两个人之中才会有一个感到不再爱了？看着一个你曾全心全意地爱国得女人，这个人曾经觉得一看不到她就受不了，可现在你终于领悟到，如果你从此再看不到她也无所谓，这才是真正非常痛苦，爱情得悲剧就是冷漠。 他那时真想像她伤他感情那样去伤她得感情，因为他之所以怨恨仅仅是为了爱。可现在他已不在乎了……他不明白自己过去为什么会那么狂爱她。他曾经把他心灵的一切宝贵东西都堆在她脚下，她却不屑一顾。浪费，多大的浪费！可现在，当他瞅着她去看桥的时候，他心里只感到轻蔑。他的耐性终于耗尽了。