15.3 Sherlock Homes

A Scandal in Belgravia [S2E1]

JW: You flirted with Sherlock Homes?

AI: At him. He never replies.

JW: No. Sherlock always replies to everything. He is Mr. Punchline. He will outlive God trying to have the last word.

AI: Does that make me special?

JW: I don’t know. Maybe.

AI: Are you jealous?

JW: We’re not a couple.

AI: Yes, you are. There, ‘I’m not dead. Let’s have dinner.’

JW: Who the hell knows about Sherlock Holmes? But for the record, if anyone out there still cares, I’m not actually gay.

AI: Well, I am. Look at us both.

AI: I don’t think so, do you?

AI: Let’s have dinner.

SH: Why?

AI: You might be hungry.

SH: I’m not.

AI: Good.

SH: Why would I want to have dinner, if I wasn’t hungry?

AI: Oh, Mr. Holmes. If it was the end of the world, if this was the very last night, would you have dinner with me?

AI: Too late.

AI: Oh, dear God. Look at the poor man. You don’t actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you’re the great Sherlock Homes, the clever detective in the funny hat?

SH: No. Because I took your pulse, elevated. Your pupils, dilated. I imagine John Watson thinks love’s a mystery to me, but the chemistry is incredibly simple and very destructive. When we first met, you told me that disguise is always a self-portrait – how true of you. The combination to your safe, your measurements – but this, this is far more intimate, this is your heart and you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any random number and walked out of there today with everything you work for. But you just couldn’t resist it, could you? I’ve always assumed that love is a dangerous disadvantage. Thank you for the final proof.

JW: I always hear “punch me” when you speak but it’s usually subtext.

AI: Brainy is the new sexy.